8:56 PM
One source down, five more to go. I definitely underestimated the ease and difficulty of this assignment. This is taking longer to complete than I anticipated although I am filling up the three to four page requirement faster than I would like to with the remaining six paragraphs. I don’t even have motivation to finish this like sleep at the end because I have to also do my lab, watch a film, and fix my schedule. Bleh.
8:01 PM
Introduction completed. Although it seems as if I just visited a farm and threw a bunch of bull crap into my essay, I feel like I’m on to a start to a very insightful essay. Now to the subsequent paragraphs..
7:17 PM
Humanities essay due tomorrow at 8:30 AM. It was only thirty minutes ago I discovered the prompt amid the convoluted syllabus. I have no idea what to write and it appears to get my creative juices flowing I must blog. I’m supposed to explain how this course has effectively demonstrated the need to study monsters to understand why we are human. Simple enough but we have to incorporate six sources.. three novels, two films, and our group project (which I haven’t even started). There we have it ladies and gentlemen: procrastination at its finest. Also to add more wood to the fire, I must finish the essay before 2 AM because I don’t own a laptop and our dorm WiFi is currently down. I hate Time Warner but that is for a different time. On to monsters… boo!
6:17 PM Two things I will never get enough of. I respect and admire athletes who manage a full course load as well as their respective sport. It seems like there is never enough time in the day to finish all your necessary stuff AND have fun and other productive things. And when we do find a way to make time, we suffer by neglecting sleep and it turns into a never ending cycle of repaying the enormous sleep debts and catching up with work or just life. I recall my government teacher stating that we are all ignorant in some way or another. If we excel in one thing, we neglect something else. No one can do everything. This is the sole reason collaboration is the basis to success as a community. People need to stop being so competitive or complaining when people cheat. First off, odds are they are probably smart enough to actually get a 100 if they studied but they actually spend that time doing something valuable or useful. If someone cheats and they don’t understand the material then sucks for them. They will repay later on in life. However if we keep hindering other people in their successes we eventually hinder our own success. I strongly believe that collaboration is the key. Take for example a engineer. When he designs an arm but because of the pitfall of being able to only truly excel in one thing, can’t successfully make the arm move through computer science then he turns to an individual who has neglected engineering to a degree and mastered computer science. If there is no individual that knows computer science because he was expelled for cheating in English then tough luck. That arm will just sit there as a symbol of something that COULD HAVE been great. We all have our roles in life and we all play with the tools God (or whatever creator) has blessed us with. Embrace what you are good at.
5:34 PM I’m sitting in the Sonora Lab of UTD reading Government for a test on Wednesday. Yes, this is how I spend my college days now. The beginning of the semester seemed so much more laid back and there definitely wasn’t a clusterf*#k of tests on a given week. For once I’m actually worried about my film test. The concepts seem so simple, yet actually applying it to previously viewed films seems tiresome. Calculus test Friday. Fun. I think that is all I’ll dedicate to that. Anyways, did you know that the American political character is distinctive from other nations in that we have a) an intense love of wealth. B) there is a rapidity with which styles and fashions change. And C) we have a tendency to overstatement. YES! I have definitely noticed that more being in college. It’s like a game of telephone. If you aren’t familiar with the game, basically you and a group of others sit in a circle and a designated individual begins the game by whispering a word or phrase into another persons’ ear. Now after this word or phrase has traveled around the circle the final individual repeats what he/she has heard aloud and everyone laughs at the absurdity of the final word or phrase because it no longer reflects the original. As trivial as the game may be, it is a enormous problem when it comes to interactions between people in the real world. If you are ever physically present at an event when something happens, try to the follow the story as people spread it around. It will amaze you how the number of people present jumps from a couple to ten to “like 100 people.” Or perhaps he mumbled something back to the professor to he was cursing the living daylights out of him. I don’t understand what biological or psychological part of humans makes us prone to exaggeration. Is it our way of saying “I was lucky to be there?” Or is it just a instinctive thing that will remain in society til the end of our time. It is really amusing to sit back and watch the daily interactions of humans. Probably why I want to study Cognitive Science even though the math requirements will be the end of me. Which reminds me of my tests. Jolly.
10:23 AM Whether music is good or bad is subjective and depends on many factors. What mood does it put you in? How is the form of the song and moreover, the notes themselves. What is the meaning of the song/lyrics? Or maybe, do I simply like this song? I take into account many things before I come to the conclusion of certain music being good or bad (of course this pertains only to me) but I think if I can listen to an album of the band straight and multiple times without the urge to skip a song then the music is definitely good. Or at least I like it. Since I started college, I think I have listened to the album, Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons more than 30 times. Today I listened to it 5 times straight. They are a damn good band. And I believe that statement is sufficient enough to conclude this post. Although I must add, I can’t wait for their second album!
10:08 AM I love reading, but sometimes there isn’t enough time in the day to actually read. Being forced to read also spurs some resentment in reading the required novel. For my humanities class I was assigned to read Dracula and the beginning was awesome especially with the epistolary format and my pre-existing love for vampires (minus the horrendous Twilight series that scarred the beauty of vampires but what can I do?), but because of my other courses I never finished. So like any high school/college student, I resorted to SparkNotes. After reading the beginning of the novel, I realized how, for a lack of a better word, shitty SparkNotes was. It leaves out so much detail and condenses the plot greatly. The only good thing that comes out of SparkNotes is the analysis of the chapters. They provide insightful concepts and thoughts on the novel. The funny thing is I never truly read SparkNotes either. It is already bad enough that I don’t read the actual novel but I never read the analysis portion of SparkNotes. Just a message to the masses, it is extremely helpful.
12:11 AM blogging is delaying me from finishing calculus. Also the 10% battery life remaining on my phone is another reason why I must unfortunately terminate my blogging spree. Until next time. Farewell.
11:52 PM I never really thought about this but the iPhone typing interface is shit. It is annoying to type stuff on here and the auto correct function pisses me off to especially when I have to correct myself and end up sending someone four additional texts. I know I can turn it off but then my sentences would end up like this: without autocorrect my sentences could turn outmoiel this. Oh wow that wasn’t that bad. I retract this entire post. Or maybe it’s because I flipped the phone. I need sleep.
11:29 PM I’m sitting here, distracted. It seems as if study groups are ineffective. I’m watching three different groups “studying,” and unless they are analyzing Facebook for their CS class nothing productive is going on over there. On the other hand, there are about three other people here studying hard. The girl next to me is muttering to herself as she fills up with caffeine. A long night? I would expect so. The bag of food next to her is very appealing though. Unfortunately, I already stuffed myself with two boxes of raisenets. Alright on to finding when this damn ball will hit the ground.
11:19 PM Calculus is tiring. I have been going through this book for awhile now. Maybe I shouldn’t skip class so often.. Just a thought. Integrals. Faint memory from high school although not terribly hard stuff especially with Lupe blaring into my ears.
7:56 AM
Ahhh I am surrounded by people who love me dearly. Although it is in the human nature to want more, I’m at a point where life’s truly great. I’ve always had this ambivalent feeling about college. Excited to start my journey, yet hesitant to leave the comfort of my home I have come to realize the true meaning of the circle of life. I’m ready to leave the nest ready and catch my first worm. I know it won’t be easy, but this is my time. With this departure I would like to thank everybody for helping me become the person I am today. Your impact, whether positive or negative, truly made a difference in molding my character and I will never forget. I would also like to give thanks to my loving parents, siblings and girlfriend (Bushra Rashid) Your roles in my life have been a crucial piece to my life. “Love is forever, Blood is forever.” Here is to good times and bad times. Farewell Houston, Hello Dallas.
9:18 AM
That special day when we appreciate the man who gave us half of our chromosomes. That special day when we appreciate the man who helped us ride our first tricycle or organized the first tea party with Betsy, your favorite doll. That special day when we appreciate the man who has given us advice that we do not always heed. Father’s Day. Now in my culture, we are taught to display our love and appreciation to our fathers everyday. We don’t just take him for granted and then honor him for one day, but sadly we are human and have an inherent flaw to neglect this necessary deed. Fortunately, society’s controlling ways are appropriate. Yes, it isn’t acceptable that we only have to appreciate our father for one day (which is something most people do), but at least we can use today as an awareness day to not take our father for granted. As much as you hated him when he didn’t let you get that toy or go to that party, it was for your benefit. Your father looks out for you and sacrifices everything for you. So get your lazy ass up and out of bed to make him a delicious breakfast. And remember, spend this day dedicated to him, but do not stop appreciating everything he does tomorrow. Tell him, “I love you.” You may not have that luxury tomorrow. I’ll leave you with… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Rj6ZQiSVs
-Thatsrilankanguy
8:00 AM
All of us live through incomparable experiences, both good and bad, and we remember them in our own perspective. For me, last week was an intense pre-spring break. Unfortunately, I cannot disclose the exact details, but I received my share of adrenaline. At the end of the week, I sat down at my computer and drifted off. I thought about my memories of high school. Prying into my subconscious was not easy. I remember the first individual I met at school. We were divided into classrooms by our last name. I do not recall the exact room number, but it was the theater arts teacher’s room. I, shyly, entered the room, sporting all new gear (clothes, shoes, haircut, backpack: the whole nine yards). I remember all the faces of the students in the room, but I could care less about their names at the moment. If I retrieved my 9th grade yearbook, I am certain I can get them. Anyways, so here I am trying to make friends but no one has said a peep. We sat there in silence (the chairs were in a circle probably for some name game for his other classes). We would occasionally look up at the door when a student would come and ask if he/she was in the correct room. They never were. Finally, a girl broke the silence. Her name was Britney. “This is bullshit. I’m not even supposed to be here.” We turned our heads towards her, but maintained the silence. “Creek lost some of my credits so I should be in 11th grade.” I smiled in my head, of course. How could Creek lose credits for two years? Let alone lose credits at all? Another individual decided to question her for the rest of the group. “You are supposed to be in 11th? How the hell did they lose your credits?” She replied, “because they are stupid.” Her vague answer seemed to satisfy the rest of the group. I decided to keep my mouth sealed, afraid to say something stupid. The bell rang, and the rest of the year was history. Brittany and I had our encounters for the next two years. They were never direct, but memorable in a unusual way. A second memory that flowed back into my conscious gave me a hearty laugh. It was a symbol of my immaturity. Hell, everyone is immature. It is whether one chooses to control that side or not. Being a sophmore, I admit I was immature, but allow my to explain. Clear Springs was always unexpected. Ask any student and he/she will conjure a list with thousands of memories with the school. Although unexpected, Clear Springs wasn’t always entertaining and there was so much that could be done. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. A friend of mine, Aproteem, and I created a modern spit ball shooter. I don’t remember if we ever called it a spit ball shooter. Mainly, the other kids would call it that. I think we would refer to it as ‘it’. “Do you have it?” Hahaha. Back to the story, this was not a typical spit ball shooter. It consisted of two ball point pens with a hollow body. I would dismantle everything leaving the body. Then I would connect two bodies with a pencil grip and the basic design was complete. The next addition to the typical spit ball shooter was the ammunition. Spit balls were disgusting and more importantly, ineffective. No one cared about being shot with a spit ball. You would shoot an individual and the typical “fuck you’s” would be exchanged and life moved on. No, we wanted something different. Airsoft BB’s. Now keep in mind, this device was mouth powered. We weren’t going to kill anyone.. The only problem with airsoft BB’s was that we didn’t have a gun. That meant that buying them would be useless and we knew our parents would know that. So we decided to create our own “class project.” We forged– Well, we drafted a letter (all I can say is it was legit) and got our supplies. Oh, it worked perfectly. Now my memories with that shooter are immense, but one escapade stuck out. Just in case people do read this, I must refer to the victim as “MeEn.” I had indirect contact with this individual through band (don’t bother looking he/she is not in band), and I had nothing against him/her. He/She just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The first shot stung him/her on the neck. Hahaha, the pain this device called was hilarious. It didn’t actually hurt, but it was annoying. I sent over a couple more shot. He/she became suspicious and started yelling, “who the fuck is doing that?” I would immediately look down to my Spanish III book. I probably had a quiz that day, but I was a natural. My friend and I decided that a change in location was necessary. We moved tables. We were careful to move to a table where we knew at least two of the students. As we moved around the cafeteria, table to table, circling the victim, I continuously spat. The response was hysterical. He/She would get up, yell, and slam his/her hands on the table. Finally, we moved to the ‘Indian table.’ A fatal move on my part, I fired again. This time I got cocky and placed multiple BB’s in my mouth. She happened to turn at that moment and stormed over to the table. “Who the hell is throwing these things at me?” What an moron I thought. How can throwing those cause that type of pain (keep in mind the pain is minimal but not that minimal if that makes sense)? Luckily for me, no one ratted me out. One kid was close and he has remained under my scrutiny for the remainder of high school to this date. This student was mad! He/she stood there waiting for an answer. He/she finally decided to take matters out of her hands. She reported it to an assistant principal: Mr. Ruiz. While she decided to be a whining child, my friend and I decided a change in location was necessary once again. We watched as Mr. Ruiz walked over to the table. The dialogue was inaudible. All I could hear was my heart beating fast than normal. No one pointed towards my vicinity. Then he enlisted everyone into the lunch beautification team. Hahahahaha. That was a lunch to remember. The “traumatized” individual gave dirty looks to every brown kid that year, but it was well worth it. More memories came back to me, but far too many to put on here. I suppose that leads me to my point. Our lives are filled with memories like this. Moments we laugh, think, cry, smile, or any other emotion about. Yes, we remember the big events like our birthdays or prom, but that is not all of life. I try not to have many regrets because the future is the only thing we can change, but I regret not documenting all the things that went on every day of my life. I’m not talking about a blog. In blogs, we tend to centralize our thoughts on one or multiple events that day. Never everything. For me, that isn’t enough. So to everyone reading this, document everything that goes on in your life. Keep a notebook in arms length, and jot down events as they occur. Reading back to these one day will be fulfilling. Sometimes I think about all the memories that probably will never leave my subconscious. If you are content with living life and forgetting some of the experiences that have impacted you even in a minimal way, then I hope you found amusement in my two anecdotes. Oscar Wilde said. “Memory is the diary that we all carry with us.” Keep in mind, that diary may not always be available so make copy.
8:00 PM I have been focused on one thing for too long. The funny thing is that I haven’t been focused on it… Life isn’t fair. Life never works out for anyone. I’ve come to the sad realization that I won’t be able to do what I wanted to do. That is fine though. Someone special would always say I take things too seriously. I instantly turn my smile upside down to anything. Test scores or anything. So maybe I won’t be in the yard. So maybe I won’t be in New England (I swear it was a trick!). I may join the newly admitted or the Lord of the Rings geek. Whatever the future holds for me, I hope to be in the top 95% of multiple things. Readers who may believe I have digressed from the original plan of this blog, bear with me. This will be the last for awhile. I would hate to have transformed into ‘Evan Diego Thompson.’ This is Genius at its Finest.
7:17 PM But I’ve never felt this feel so heavy. And I’ve never felt this feel so low. Perhaps it is the pretentious McGraw Hill that has pushed me to a certain limit. Perhaps it is the Brutus who has sent me on another path. Perhaps it is the boulder (mistakenly, I thought it was a pebble) that stands in my way. I’ve been able to surmount petty obstacles without much effort. I think it is time to switch gears and go Vin Diesel style on that nos. Twenty days have come and gone. Weak, I am to succumb to these interferences. Time is lost, and double the time is required. The choice is mine. Content with living life avoiding burdens? I think not. I must shield my heels and never let my glory be taken again by a stone. Jab, Swing, Zeus (in the time period?), Physics, Free Fall
Listen. Feel. Look. Smell. Live.
Step outside. Listen. Feel. Look. Smell. Live.
Do you hear the birds chirping, the cars moving, the leaves of trees blowing in the wind? That is life. The life that God gave each and everyone of us.
Do you feel the grass grazing your skin, the concrete rough under the sole of your feet, the breath of cold fresh air blowing your hair away from your face? That is life. The life that our mothers kept inside their bellies until we were ready to experience it.
Are you looking at the colors of the sky, at the sun shining in our eyes, at the people around us? That is life. The life that we were meant to see and question.
Are you smelling the scent of rain from the day before, the aroma of fresh food from inside the house, the odor of freshly cut grass? That is life. The life that you and I were meant to journey through.
Live.
- Bushra Rashid
http://xobushrawrox.tumblr.com/
5:55 PM Home sweet Home is a common saying, but hell, it’s true. It is a wonderful feeling coming home to a beautiful voice after a long day at the park. I love you.
9:52 AM Tired.
8:09 PM Let’s go off to Neverland. The fictional place that we always wanted to visit as kids. The place where we never got older. It is in our nature to long for the past. Long for memories that made us feel all cozy or perhaps, memories of our loved ones. The most treasured memory many people keep dear to them, is their childhood. We never want to grow old. After hitting middle school (no, not puberty), I think it’s safe to say, we all wish we stayed in elementary school. The thought of blissful days without responsibilities or burdens is sadly, only a thought. Neverland doesn’t exist. We have to come to the realization that, we as people, are going to die one day. We can’t live forever. In a way, we are like the Darling children in Peter Pan. We can maybe visit ‘Neverland’ once in a while, but we must come back down to reality. Are you still living in Neverland? Dreams and our fantasy worlds can collide and it depends on you to make that reality. Yes, there are somethings that should be left dreams or can only be dreams, but never lose sight on what you want in life. It is yours for the taking.
“Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” – J.M. Barrie
11:06 PM My girlfriend maintains a Tumblr and was asked, “WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?” I thought this was an interesting question and considering the fact that her memory begun on a couch (coincidentally, my earliest memory is too.), I decided to answer. My earliest human memory (as if I can remember when I was an alien or perhaps a lion) was an event that repeatedly plays back in my head. I was on a brown couch watching Thomas the Engine , and my mom was vacuuming the room. I was probably three or four and I remember jumping back and forth, on to the couch and off, trying to avoid getting sucked in by the ‘monster.’ The rest of the story is fragmented and blurry, but I recall getting my pinky toe stuck under the vacuum cleaner and having to put a Thomas the Engine band-aid on my wound. Lame, I know, but it’s strange when someone mentions early memories, I think of that. Whether or not it was the earliest memory, I can’t say. Those neurons haven’t been fired in some time. Well, that is it for the question of the day. Speaking of ‘of the day’ things, the “Dictionary.com Word of the Day” was chatoyant: having changeable lustre; twinkling.
7:13 PM Regrets are something we all have. Regrets give us a moment of bursting inspiration. Regrets can be stopped. In my life, I have gone through many events that I regret up to this date. I have tried changing, but the past remains the past. I think, in order to stop the incoming regrets, we have to tread carefully in life. Perhaps, we have to plan better. A great deal has come up this new year and I think it’s time I act. If there is something you have always wanted to do, I suggest you take initiative and make it work. Whether it be learning that crazy solo on guitar or getting all A’s. The world is full of possibilities. What better time to start than now? Enough of this petty schooling, there are far more important things in life. Regrets. This is our time.
Today, I removed my flash drive from a school computer without properly ejecting it. If I remember correctly, it was about the 9000th time I have done this. Well, this time, the flash drive enraged that it wasn’t getting ejected correctly decided to repel. It switched its formatting from FAT32 to FAT, and corrupted all the files I had. When I say “all the files,” I literally mean all the files. My life (computerized) was on that flash drive. When technology strikes against me, the whole world becomes dumb. Computer techs and repairmen display a lack of knowledge in any computing, and the employees at Fry’s don’t understand what the file system is. Frustrated, I have tried multiple recovery programs, but haven’t reached a single victory. I decided to format the drive back to FAT32, and voila! Files are restored! As I probe in deeper into the array of files (they were renamed all numbers), I come to the sad realization that the files I could care less about were recovered. Countless personal documents and college essays were unable to be retrieved. I’m furious. Well, life goes on. On a note to everyone: heed this warning and BACK UP THOSE DRIVES!
It is 2:23 AM. I am still awake. No, I am not playing games or stalking people on Facebook (not that I stalk people on Facebook). I am actually completing a homework assignment that I neglected to do over the break, but I am not the only one. I was in a Facebook message string for about 50 minutes discussing how to split up the work. My back is twitching and my head is hurting. I think those are signs of sleep deprived -ness. I think I am going to crash. Hope everyone had a great winter break and let’s get geared up for school.
I finally got my theater mode to work for Black Ops. I hope to upload some videos to Youtube. My brother excessively plays so maybe some 360′s from him? I remember a few days ago. I was in the living room reading, and out of nowhere my brother yells, “YES! YES! DUDE! DUDE! TOMAHAWK ACROSS THE MAP! OHHHHH YEAHHH! OH MY GOD!” I shook my head. Now, I’m not that good at Black Ops. I wish I could have recorded some games in Modern Warfare, but time will tell. UAV Recon is standing by. Peace.
School is tomorrow. It is the last semester of high school. I am neither thrilled nor unhappy. I am definitely not looking forward to waking up at five in the morning, but hey, that’s life. Hopefully, the school year will zip by quickly. For now, I will just enjoy the last couple hours of the break.
So lately, I have wanted to start a blog or video channel. I thought with the start of the new year, why not? So I am still in the process of creating a ‘show’ and what it will entail, but stay posted.
